i’ve been back at work for 5 weeks now and i can honestly say…life has been CRAY. not only for me, but for C & M as well. i think i create such a whirlwind of nonsense and chaos that they get swept up in the storm.
examples…
1. i cannot remember anything after 5 seconds. i have to write it down, set an alarm or keep repeating it until it gets done. i’m like a schizophrenic person when i’m trying to leave the house or get a chore done. i have to repeat my list over and over again aloud. can you imagine being around me while i get ready? yikes.
2. i cannot do more than 1 thing at a time. mainly because of the reason above but also because my brain just can’t move fast. i feel like an old computer with no more memory left. the hard drive is great but my memory is full. i need a replacement or reboot stat.
3. i’m always SUPER tense about life. i feel like i’m balancing 100 things on a tray and as i slowly put a few things down, life gives me a bucketful more to balance. sigh. #rude that’s all i can say about that.
4. i’m constantly trying to find new ways to streamline or simplify our lives. in the end… nothing is ever simple or streamlined. doh! one positive thing is that we’ve been tossing tons of stuff to make room for all the baby stuff. you wouldn’t believe how much space a jumper or bouncer takes up.
5. no matter how much we clean, 30 minutes later it’s chaos again.
6. we did 6 loads of laundry last saturday. SIX. nuff said.
7. 10,00 times a day i stuggle with:
wanting C to be asleep but then wishing she were awake to then realizing…no damn…i wish she were asleep…let me put her in the bouncer so she can chill…wait why isn’t she chill? is she gassy? is she sick?…oh cool she’s just playing with her hands…sigh now i can get the dishes done… wait why isn’t she making any sounds? is she sick?? is she gassy? does she need something?? i want to play with her…ugh now she wants to play too much and i’m tired… GO TO SLEEP! ooo she’s falling asleep… sigh… wait…she’s not falling asleep fast enough… FINALLY she’s asleep… i can look at instagram…hmm she’s been sleeping too long is she alive?? damn…i freaking woke her up… @#$)@#(*$)@#($@…here take the pacifier…wait she’s sucking on it too long & might get crooked teeth…why isn’t she sleeping?? let me put her in the ergo… crap will she get bow-legs?? let me take her outside to calm her down instead… uh oh she might get skin cancer, let’s go back in…
8. why has no one invented a freaking bottle that cleans itself or doesn’t need to be washed??? rawr. we have 9 and i swear we wash them like 2x a day. ALL OF THEM. i want to die…
pics of my little babe. i’m OBSESSED with her. maybe too much…but whatever. i reserve that right i freaking birthed her! ok random rant for today done. hope ya’ll are having a good week. =D
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